Friday, September 24, 2010

Still Understanding Sudan

I have been back from Sudan for almost 6 weeks now.  Last Sunday at church I vividly relived an experience I had in Sudan.  It meant little to me at the time, but now I understand why I had it: so that I could know God's love for me more.

In the middle of worship the Lord revived my memory of the day I slaughtered a goat in Sudan.  It was so bloody, so messy, and just horrific.  The Father and the Son went through this horrible ordeal for me.  When I killed the goat, I felt it's life-blood on my hands.  I'm not about to get theological, but I wonder, did the Father feel the life of His Son in his hands?  They suffered so much.

I also remember, although I was not present for the experience, the second goat we slaughtered in Sudan.  I heard the story that Jonathan had the knife on the goat's neck when Donato came running: "Not that goat!  Not that goat!"  He came and spared the goat's life.  A different goat was killed.  That is what Jesus did for me.  When the knife was put to my throat, He came running, yelling "Not that goat!  Not that goat!  I love him!"  He came and He spared me, and placed Himself under the knife that was meant for me.  His life was taken.  Blood and water flowed from His side.  The Father watched as He died.

O Lord, your love is so good.

The Lord showed me these things and much more during worship last Sunday, and I left knowing His love for me unlike ever before.

I am back in SLO for college.  I am still working on a video documentary of my experience in Sudan.  It will be released soon.



Stephanie Williams said...

oh my!!! What insights God has given you. I'm not surprised... just blessed!
Little brother, I'm proud of you!
Can I scream AMEN! Cause that's how this blog makes me feel! Please give me permission to repost it on my blog! This is not something to keep to oneself. :- )
Study hard! Love Jesus harder!
~ Steph

The Griff said...

Wow. What an example. Tears welled up in my eyes.

I am looking forward to the video. Please continue to look back on Sudan on this blog for us?

And teaching is going wonderfully here! The pastors are such a blessing to me and God is speaking in great ways.


Cassandra said...

I just stumbled across this blog, and I LOVE it! I went to Nasir, Sudan last summer on a mission trip, and fell in love with the Sudanese and the way God revealed Himself to me through my experiences. I will be returning this year to both Tonj and Nasir as part of a three-month position, and I found your blog through a search for info about Tonj.

This post (as well as several others) brought tears to my eyes and reminded me of some powerfully moving experiences I have had since I've returned home, as well. Thanks for sharing so openly.